Celebrating a Life

Today I’m remembering a solo journey I took back in 2009 to Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. My desire was to visit the place that had been significant for my mother. She and her  cousin, Yvonne traveled there by train when they were both nineteen to prepare for work in WWII as civil servants.

Throughout my childhood, Mama told stories of their adventures in Harrisburg. It was the first time those two farm girls had been outside of North Carolina. They returned to work at Pope Air Base, living on site and enjoying the lively community that included handsome soldiers. It was quite a change from rural Harnett County.

Before I left on my trip to Harrisburg, I took Mama to see Yvonne. At that time, they were both still living in their homes. We sat at Yvonne’s dining table and shared a meal of chicken and biscuits and I told them about my plan.

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Yvonne Gilchrist Casto (sitting) and Mama, Mary Smith Rosser

While Yvonne had more physical problems than Mama, Yvonne was mentally sharp. Mama was in the early phase of dementia and understood that I was going to Harrisburg, but had a hard time recalling the specifics of living there. I felt an urgency to go then because I wanted her to be able to enjoy some of what I discovered while she could still savor those memories with Yvonne.

“We lived on McClay street. I hope you can find the house where we rented a room from the Flutes,” Yvonne told me.

Later, she shared one of their familiar stories. She was a clever prankster and often seemed to be the ‘set-up’ person while Mama took the bait. They were a real duo.

When I arrived in Harrisburg, I took pictures along the path by the Susquehanna River, remembering what an impression it made on Mama that frigid January day when they arrived. Mama would often say, “That river was frozen solid.” It would have been a real contrast to their partially-frozen farm pond in central North Carolina, which she would have be warned to stay away from when she was a girl.

While I walked along the streets abutting McClay and visited the Capitol where they’d had their photo taken, I imagined Mama and Yvonne, nineteen years old, the young women in the photo coming to life.

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(L to R) Yvonne, their new friend, Mary Willis, and Mama, Mary Rosser at PA Capitol 1943

I tried but couldn’t find the training site. When I returned with my pictures, they listened in rapt attention as I told them what I saw and ways the city had changed since 1943.

Mama and Yvonne remained close over the years. We often said they were more like sisters and best friends than merely cousins.

How they loved each other’s company, able to finish each other’s stories from their time together as young women starting out in the world. After the war ended and they finished working at Pope Field, they went to Kansas City, Missouri to work for the airlines. While there, Yvonne met her husband, Bill and eventually moved with him to California.

Years later, we received the tragic news that Bill had been diagnosed with Huntington’s Chorea/Huntington’s Disease, a fatal genetic disorder (https://hdsa.org/what-is-hd/). He lost his job as a NASA contractor due to the  changes in his functioning caused by the break down of nerve cells in his brain. Yvonne and Bill, along with their six-year-old daughter, Kim moved back to North Carolina. Mama was heartbroken for Yvonne and was supportive of her through the eighteen years of Bill’s decline and eventual long-term care and then death. During that time, Yvonne was there for Mama when Daddy died suddenly from a heart attack.

As widows, they’d often visit each other and take trips to see friends and family that lived both nearby and faraway. They enjoyed each other’s company, often telling their stories from Harrisburg and Pope Field like a well-rehearsed tag team. We enjoyed watching them.

Eventually Yvonne’s diabetes and other physical problems, and Mama’s dementia led to both of them going to live in nursing centers. As long as they were able, we still tried to take them to see one another. When they were no longer able to visit, Yvonne would ask Kim about Mama, and Mama would smile when we’d tell her news of Yvonne. They were separated but we felt their spirits remained together.

Today I remember Yvonne because tomorrow I will attend her memorial service. She passed away last week in her nursing home thirty miles from Mama’s. Yvonne had just turned 95 on November 1st, catching up with her cousin who’d turned 95 in July.

For Mama and Yvonne, their strong cousin bond, shared adventures as young women, and support for one another, lasted a lifetime.

What a testament of  kinship, friendship, and loyalty pursurvering through the good and difficult times of life. What a priviledge to have learned from watching them.

Tomorrow we will celebrate Yvonne. Mama doesn’t know that her cousin is no longer living. She is spared from that grief by her dementia, so we daughters will go in Mama’s stead, supporting Kim, our cousin, as we honor the life of her incredible mother.

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How About You?

Have you ever made a journey to discover more about a person you loved?

What did you learn about that person?  What did you learn about yourself?

12 thoughts on “Celebrating a Life

    • Hey Natasha,
      Thanks so much for reading. I’m glad you love my posts!
      Yes, Mama told us many stories of their escapades in Harrisburg and at Pope. She had jobs of painting insignias on planes and packing parachutes. Mama was quite a flirt and liked telling us about those handsome soldiers. Yvonne appeared more serious, but often had a wry grin and would say something really witty.
      I discovered when I took that solo journey to Harrisburg, that Mama hadn’t given me her red hair and freckles, but gave me her adventuresome spirit!
      Best to you, Natasha,
      Connie

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  1. Okay. I am going to need an entire box of kleenex now. That was absolutely beautifully written. Mom and Mary haf such a great bond of friendship. I cherish that snd all of you. Thank you Connie! Love all of you, Kim

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey Kim,
      You cry all you need to. When we have a great loss, then that is what we must do. Yvonne was a wonderful mother and loved you so much. She was so proud of her daughter and never failed to tell me how much she appreciated you taking care of her. She knew you’d had to deal with a lot over the years, with your Dad’s illness and all the ways that impacted your family. I think that made you two stronger and closer.
      We love you and will be there for you in the days ahead. How thankful we are for the lives of our mothers.
      Blessings and Peace,
      Connie

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  2. Connie,
    Such a wonderful account and tribute to Yvonne and your mother. You must have had a great time trying to recreate steps of yesteryears. You present a really warm account that allows a mind to conger up a picture. I admire your talent for recollections. Thank you for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey John,
      Thanks for your kind and encouraging words.
      It was almost surreal being in Harrisburg and thinking about what it was ike for my mother in 1943. I could see the settings for the stories she and Yvonne told.
      I came home with a new realization that I was like Mama– adventuresome. Before that, I didn’t see myself as much like her.
      Thanks for reading and commenting. I appreciate your support!
      Connie

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Connie, that was a beautiful tribute to two sweet and amazing women! Mama also spent time in Harrisburg that I often heard her mention over the years. Blessings to you and Kim. I will be thinking of you tomorrow. Thank you for sharing memories through your talent of writing.
    Judy

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey Judy,
      Thanks so much for reading and for your kind words. I always loved watching our mothers at the Pope Field Reunions, their lively conversations about their ‘good old days.’
      Best to you and Mert,
      Connie

      Like

  4. I loved reading this ~ there’s something bittersweet and wonderful about reading more about those who came before us, the women they were before they became wives and mothers.

    I, too, had a wonderful, talented and amazing woman for a mother ~ Aren’t we the lucky ones to have come from such great people!

    Bests,
    MJ

    Like

    • Hey MJ,
      Thanks so much for reading. We are lucky to have watched our amazing mothers, role models to help us know how to navigate our way. Bittersweet is a good word for experiencing the past and the present with these women we hold dear.
      Best to you,
      Connie

      Liked by 1 person

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